Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Into the Hands of God...The Brokenhearted will Fall

I cried. I wept. I snotted all over the place. I threw my hands up at God and said, “Whhhhhhyyyyyy?” for as long as I could without taking a breath. I murmured. I complained. I made suggestions. I countered. I made a case. I prayed. I gave thanks. I fasted. I suffered long. I obeyed. I tried. But near the end, right when I was about to give up, is when I knew. I knew deep down in my tired soul that I was born for this. Perhaps, if I hadn’t been so wounded and preoccupied with the pain, I would have KNOWN it sooner. After all, I had chosen the road less traveled. We, all, who see beyond, natural circumstances, have had to make the faith fall aka the trust test. God, stands behind you in a circle of friends. Your back is to Him, you don’t see him, but you know that He is there.

He beckons to you, “Trust Me.”

You say, “You mean, watch me fall?”

He laughs, more like a giggle, actually more like a roar of thunder. The sound is hearty. You feel lightheaded but at ease. You take the dive. And, Walla, you’re there, in the hands of God.

I wanted to remind you and me that we are in the hands of God. And with Him there is no failure. I know it’s been a difficult journey and the dream, we've been holding onto since childhood, has seemed to tarry longer than we ever expected. But I want you to know that your faith in God wasn’t in vain. Everything He said is 100% true. He didn’t lie to you. I woke up this morning with a strange song in my head, “Would I lie to you?” by the British duo, The Eurhythmics. The hook goes a little something like this, "Would I lie to you honey? Would I say something to you that wasn’t true?” The answer to this question, if God was posing it, is simply, “No.” He would not lie to you and He would not tell you something that was not true. You must love him and trust him. As he loves you and trust you with his word.

A few months ago, the Lord spoke to me and he said, “I want you to be fearless.” This call to fearlessness is so necessary to the advancement of God’s kingdom in the earth. Fear is a liar. It is a False, Expectation, Appearing Real. It presents the worst case scenario every single time. It never believes. I want to encourage you today, also, to be fearless. To look fear its dreadful eyes and say, “No more! I will not be afraid. I will put my trust in the Living God, whose love never fails, whose peace breaks every barrier. In him, will I trust.”

I know you have felt abandoned, disappointed, neglected, overlooked; but child of God, it has not been in vain. You have occupied the place that the Lord has commanded you. In secret you have sought him and interceded for others. And though they may not have acknowledged or seemed to appreciate anything that you have done. Know that the Lord has seen it all. And even still, while their lips betray you, you still believe better things concerning them. You will not be made ashamed says the Lord but you will receive double. Do not think that The Lord will not be good to you. Do not think that you have misjudged God’s ability or expected too much. But the Lord says I reward those who seek me diligently. He says what you do in secret I will reward you openly for. Do not envy anyone. Do not compare yourself. Do not be ashamed. But believe my word. Trust in me and know that I am good. I am unfailing love. I am the God who answers. I am the Lord.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Finish Well

It took me all day to write this. Though it was on my mind and in my heart, to spend some time alone with the Lord and to write, I found it hard to do. Considering the multiplied concerns that I face, the subject matter, of writing, though dear to my heart, seemed a back burner priority. Nevertheless, I found myself thinking about a conversation I had recently. I was in tears and I said, “God loves them, but doesn’t he love me too?” And my ever faithful husband said, “I know sweetheart, but Jesus could have said the same thing. He could have said, ‘God you love them, but what about me? I’m on this cross but what about me?’” He concluded with, “I just want you to finish well.” The day before, he had encouraged me to love and pray for people that I felt I had done a good service to. And his words to me, greatly grieved me. “Give more?” I thought, “I have nothing left to give.”

Oh, how dreadful those words sound to me now, “What about me?” Here “she” goes again, on her self-pity parade, singing that same old song, “Poor little me, just trying to do what’s right and everything in this terrible world is against me.” I was dreadfully afraid of being condemned in this prison of fear and failure once again. Had I done what I was supposed to? And if not, how much longer must I suffer? How much farther into this dark tunnel must I go? After all, I had been fool enough to say, “Lord, not my will but your will be done. Show me your glory. Reveal yourself through me. Lord, if I lose everything for your namesake and end up living in a car with my husband and my babies then it will be worth it just to know that I have done what you asked.” I had been that fool. And that wrapped up in God’s presence to believe that I really could just lie down and die to my own desires and personal ambitions… just to be that much closer to the love of my eternal soul, Jesus.

Oh, how soothing the promise is in my ears that God’s grace is sufficient. How beautiful the reminder that no matter how pitiful my faith that God remains faithful. I heard, a renowned evangelist, Joseph Prince, say this week, that “God is not anxious” about anything. He’s patient. He’ll take his time. He’ll wait for it, the it in you that he knows is there. Romans 5:5 says, “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” His great desire for us is that we would overflow with love. That even in our hardships, we would be so convinced of God’s love, that nothing could defer it. That we would be partakers of the hope that makes us so fearlessly flawless in matters of love. It is this love that never fails to believe.

I was expecting a major breakthrough, a tangible change to occur in my immediate future that has taken longer than expected. I staked my peace on this milestone. And once again, the Lord reminded me that my faith is in Him, not in the resulting occurrences because of my relationship to him. I want to encourage myself and you with these words. There is nothing that you and I are experiencing, no battle we are in that has never been fought before. There is no fear that cannot be overcome by faith. There is no door that God has opened that anyone can shut. You and I were made for this victory. The unfailing love of God resides in us. Don’t pout. Stop crying. Quit complaining. Just finish well. Fearless Nation, Let’s Go!

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Wait For It

Waiting? Got patience? Staying power? Ability? Wait for it. Some weeks ago I was inspired to write on the subject of transformation and when I woke up unusually early yesterday morning, I was reminded that I never quite got around to blogging about it. As I considered this, I thought about my own transformation and the whimsical expression of God through those changes. Change is a natural progression of life. We live for it. We wait for what will be. We venture to anticipate the unknown, but often times find ourselves revisiting the past. For what can man predict? What can man really be sure of, other than what God reveals? We think, but we don’t really know anything. We read books and we consider them true on the basis of the opinion or research of the one who finds it. We say “this person is legitimized by their study and therefore their words must be true since I have no knowledge of it.” But education does not make for perfect men and women. Knowledge, according to the Bible, puffs up but love edifies. (See 1 Cor. 8:1) It makes a man or woman, who depends on knowledge, inevitably unkind to those who lack what they have. Knowledge, without love, demeans those who are absent of it. Whether it is creative, self, social, brain or religious knowledge… knowledge though it appears to make one better, only segregates those who have it from those who do not, if not tempered by love.

If my knowledge does not have a vein of love in it, then it is only useful to me and no one else. It builds me up, in my self-awareness. It boasts of my successes and my reigning power; but it does not lend a hand to the needy. And this, failure to love, is the tragedy of men. For what do I have that wasn’t given to me? The breath of life, the bend of my hair, the framework hidden beneath my skin, the heart that beats so violently in my chest pumping blood throughout my body without end. The very ability to know, comprehend and understand was not measured to me on the basis of any knowledge I attained. Life was given to me and every day I have the choice to either live with the knowledge of that gift or to deny the very power at work within me. It may seem an odd consideration but I could not begin to talk about transformation, without addressing the nature of man’s need to know. We seek knowledge under the guise of preparedness, readiness and responsibility. But if our knowledge does not end in love, it is fruitless behavior. The transforming power of God is limited in us, the realm of our influence and the fullness of our innate gifts is never reached.

Several months ago I faced tremendous fear. I could not see my way out of a situation and I was tormented by my disability. I wanted to KNOW what I had done, where I held failed and why I was not getting the results I had anticipated. I had been obedient, faithful, knowledgeable concerning God’s promise and seemingly unrewarded. I saw no worth in my testimony and I pitied myself. I thought, “What a shame? All of these promises from God and I will see none of them. Perhaps, they are for my children and not me. I do not have the strength to believe God concerning this anymore.” But God said to me, “If you have me, you have everything you need. Your value is in Me.” He said to me, “You are awesome. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing. You are awesome. You are the canvas of my heart.” He had taken notice of me and did not pity me. Rather, he esteemed me as awesome. I had misplaced my victorious destiny in the future, when I needed only see my worth in the here and now. In the dreaded place, between belief and transition, I was transformed. I saw a picture of God’s awesomeness, through his love for me. And if I had not waited, but allowed the knowledge of my circumstance to betray me, I would not have seen this transformation as I do now.

Awesomeness is contagious. The awesomeness of God is like a fragrance and a fire. (See 2 Cor. 2:14-15, Zec. 2:5)How awesome are you? Not sure? Wait for it. The promises of God will inevitably manifest in our lives. He does not and will not make a promise to you that he is unwilling to keep. The store of our faith, belief in his word and our prayers overflows generations. No prayer we have prayed will go unanswered. Though it linger. Wait for it. Though you face rejection. Wait for it. Though you suffer. Wait for it. Wait for his strength to be revealed. Wait for His love to be displayed. Wait for the courage to face your fears. Because his promise to you is this,

“For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3

The certainty of transformation is realized when our knowledge of God’s promises are met with impossibility. To venture in the boat of faith, one must rely on God as captain, sail, wind and wave. Though we may be thrust and tossed about a sea of impossibilities, our hope remains. That is the staying power of the knowledge of God’s love expressed through his will to give, you and I, life abundant. The uncertainty of life is not in God’s nature but in our own. When we compare his nature to our human nature, we display fear, angst and distrust. Our knowledge of life and death compels us at every turn to self-preserve. When we are met with difficulty, our mind searches for answers; and it wants to know, why this is happening and how can I fix it? But true faith doesn’t consider why or how, because neither answer can foretell the ability of God. Instead, true faith, relies on the knowledge of God’s unfailing love expressed through His son, Jesus Christ, to make dead things live again, impossible situations to turn out good, awesomeness to come to ignoble people. Why? Because He can. Just wait for it.

Awesomeness is Contagious

Awesomeness is contagious. The awesomeness of God is like a fragrance and a fire. (See 2 Cor. 2:14-15, Zec. 2:5)How awesome are you? Not sure? Wait for it. The promises of God will inevitably manifest in our lives. He does not and will not make a promise to you that he is unwilling to keep. The store of our faith, belief in his word and our prayers overflows generations. No prayer we have prayed will go unanswered. Though it linger. Wait for it. Though you face rejection. Wait for it. Though you suffer. Wait for it. Wait for his strength to be revealed. Wait for His love to be displayed. Wait for the courage to face your fears. Because his promise to you is this, “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3