Monday, May 12, 2008

Change (To be continued)

Granted it has been quite some time since I last published a post. Longer than I anticipated ... It was an unexpected, completely unforeseeable pause in the plan. But I'm back. This has been a very interesting first quarter. I will be turning 30 years old this month. And obviously this a pivotal age for me. But more noteworthy, is this sense that I feel of something big. Huge, in fact, is about to occur in my life. Some monumental change ... I don't know if its the election, the climate, the economy, fuel prices or what ...but I feel like this culture is crying out for change and I feel "it" breathing down my neck. When I wake up most mornings, I'm tired and don't really feel like going to work; but then I feel this expectancy of "something" just around the corner. And my eyes just kind of pop open anxious to see what might be. I've been in this place before in my life, around the time my husband and I began dating. I had prayed & hoped for so long concerning him & then one day out of the blue, there he was, and there we were and unashamedly so. I wasn't ashamed of the newness of the relationship, or my inexperience. I was just happy and excited to be engaged in something with someone that I knew was apart of a bigger picture. I had this sense that the marking of our lives was a part of a system changing. A system of doing things alone. A system of being alienated. I believed that we had formed something and that are union was a flicker of a greater destiny. I am reminded of something the Father shared with me some months ago. He opened my eyes to the scripture and I began to see the virtuous wife depicted in Proverbs as a model of the church. And so when I speak of a system changing it is in direct relationship to where I am right now in my walk, my husband and I. It's almost as if what I saw my future being, some 10 years ago, is my right now. My present situation has been marked, highlighted if you will, to indicate that I have arrived at a place in my walk , where its time for me to live in, settle in and make a home. a Literal, resting point. I believe that I am hearing the Lord right now, and so I am just flowing with Him as I write. Change is eminent.