Sunday, August 16, 2009

Start to Finish ...

I didn’t start to finish. I started only to make myself feel like I was doing something and in the end I accomplished nothing.

My greatest offense to God has probably been my lack of obedience. Often times wavering at His promises to essentially have my own opinions. I have watched my opinions crumble and His promises miraculously resurrect from the explosion. I’m not a willful sinner; in fact I am not a sinner at all. I believe and know that my sins have been forgiven. But sin, is a necessary variable. It allows for grace. And grace, though it should be in high demand, “for all have sinned and fall short” of it, appears to have taken a back seat to sacrifice.

On my altar, I have sacrificed, time, energy, peace, joy and rest in the name of Natrietia. I have held up my opinion in the face of God and said in not so many words, “I think I can do it myself. I know you said to do it this way, but that takes away from ME getting some of the credit. So I’ll do it but just not the way you said. Okay?”

And there began, the end…

The moment that I take away from God the ability to please Himself, is the moment that I take away His ability to make His pleasure known to me. It is written that, “without faith it is impossible to please God.” And while, this sort of scriptural reference nicks at the heart of everyone who likes to take things into their own hands and/or misunderstands God’s pleasure... there is a light at the end of this tunnel…

Faith pleases God because it allows him to display His goodness to us. His pleasure is not to make life living hell for human beings. His pleasure is to give us life, like heaven on earth. We are his creation. He calls us his sons & daughters. Why in the world would it please him to destroy what he created?

I make a good meatloaf. I don’t make it often, but when I do I put time and energy into making it. I get my meats ready (Beef, Pork & Turkey) and select specific seasonings (chef’s secret). I add a few other ingredients and I take special care to mix and mold the meat into a perfect loaf. I put the meat loaf in a casserole dish, ladle my special tomato sauce over it and I bake it. When it’s done, I place it on the table where my family sits eager to eat the meal I’ve prepared. And then I uncharacteristically, remove it from the table with my hands and slam it on the counter. Bashing it with my bare hands until it is a pile of crumbled, saucy meat. I then proceed, to throw it in the garbage disposal for no apparent reason as my children watch in horror. And... Scene.

It’s apparent that this type of behavior is irrational. Not so apparent, is the ineffectiveness of sacrificial works. You can put time and energy into doing nothing. You can wear yourself out walking in circle. You can drive yourself crazy with ambition and accomplish nothing. You can feel like a success and be a failure.

I heard God speak to me. He told me a long time ago that I was writer. I wake up almost everyday with a new idea or some business plan that He has shown me. And then, with it I do what I want. I start it but I do not finish it. And I don’t finish it because I am looking to myself to complete it. I am trusting in Natrietia’s creativity, ingenuity, time, energy, effectiveness, ability to perform, etcetera, etcetera … I told a friend mine yesterday that “I’m a great starter, but somewhere in the middle I loose it and I don’t finish.”

This morning I woke up with a new attitude. I apologized to my Daddy God for not listening to him when I should have. And He forgave me.

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.”
Faith pleases God because it corresponds with His very nature. He is invisible but His ability is evident.

“The Heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.” Psalm 19:1-3

I am starting to finish not because I want to make a name for myself; but because I want the will of God to be done in my life. I understand more clearly what His will is. His will is to freely express His goodness to me. And the only way that He can do that is if I take faith in Him. I must believe like the scripture says; that He, My Daddy God, “takes pleasure in the prosperity of his servants” And, that He My Daddy God “rewards those who seek Him diligently.”

I pray, that those of you who have been like me, always starting, never finishing will see the completion of your faith. Our Father loves us and is faithful to complete His promises.

With Love from Above ♥