If I Perish, I Perish but I Will See God

My God, sometimes it’s the little things. Nobody knows. Nobody sees. It’s the little things that make the BIGGEST impact. You’re waiting for that BIG break through. You’re waiting for that ONE moment that changes everything… but God likes details… He gets into the finite things…

Look at the variation of fish. He didn't just make one fish he made all shapes, sizes and colors of them. He didn't make one shade of blue… or one shade of gray… He didn't just bless you one way, He blessed you in every way…He started off small… He spoke to your heart…then gradually you were transformed… maybe you were expecting to be in a different “PLACE” in life… but you are different today than you were before. I have felt weaker than ever… but I have felt His Presence strong… and all I have to say to those of you, who know what it is like to be crushed and brokenhearted, to feel abandoned and confused…there is something that God has done… in that secret hidden place, where no one knew that you were going through what you were going through, nobody but God saw your tears and heard you crying out for help…it was in that dark tunnel of fear, when you were so afraid and didn't know what to do… that God said, “Trust Me, I know what I am doing.” And you did.

I cried out the other day to God, “If I perish, I perish.” I lay it all out before him, my life, my opinions, my strength, my weakness, my ambition, my family, my love…there is nothing more valuable to me than my relationship with him. And I cannot be bought, I cannot be bribed… I cannot be told that my GOD is not the Lord of Lords. I am convinced of His love for you and I and we will surely see the Glory of God in the land of the living. The tides are changing… the hearts of the people have grown weak… and God has transformed our weakness into strength. He has made want was unknown… known… He has made the little things, Big…and the big things, small. Hear the word of the Lord. A day is coming and now is, when the kingdom of heaven will be represented in the earth and out of the darkness will shine a great light. And every knee will bow and every tongue will confess, Jesus Christ as Lord. He is he who holds the key to life. He is, the Alpha and the Omega, who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty. You cannot pander the anointing. When God begins to unveil His majesty, it will be to a broken people, a people of little or no regard… Humble yourselves under God’s almighty hand and in due season he will exalt you. Let Him crush you and rebuild you. Thank you Lord for the little things you do, that no one sees… But I see you Lord. I see YOU.

The Knowledge of Things

Why do you hate?
Why do you blame men for your folly?
Why do you boast of things too wonderful for you?
Behave as a man.
Conduct yourselves as wives and mothers of children.
Do not trample the hope that was laid down for you.

If you are just, will not justice prevail?
If you judge, will you not also be judged with the same measure of fear?
If you love, will you not overflow with the measure of kindness you have filled others with?
Is it your belief in nothing that leaves you so empty?
Do well and seek your Father’s face.
In the morning His light will shine on you.
Do you think men are evil?
So are you.
Do you think men are good?
So are you.

There are but two things in this life.
Little things and big things.
The little things are the big things.
And the big things are the little things.
And both are worth finding out.
Our journey here on this earth is but for a mere moment in time
Do not say what tomorrow holds…
For tomorrow holds no promise
Today very well may be your last
Behave in such a way that if today your souls is called upon
That nothing is left behind.

Love when it is painful.
Give when you have the least.
And in the end you will have gained more than you gave.
Reach for the truth like a blind man in darkness
Take hold of it, though darkness surrounds you.
Take hold of it and do not let it go.

Why blame men for your folly?
When, even, your good intentions turn out bad.
Why blame the innocent for what you did not believe?
Why judge the creature for doing what he was born to do?
Why do you boast of things to wonderful for you?
You do not have answers for the questions you ask
And your speculations are full of lies.
Why do you behave like an illegitimate child when your Father is the king?
Why do you frolic in the mire and look for living things in the grave?
You will find nothing in the heap you dug…but death.

When you wake from your terrible slumber,
Who will you find besides you there?
“Nothing,” says the grave.
“Nothing” lays there.
“Nothing” says the soul crying from the deep.
“Nothing” lays there.
“Nothing” says the hope, cast away in the dirt.
“Nothing” lays there.
“Nothing and nowhere,” cries the soul separated from the truth.

Nothing boast of things too wonderful for it.
Nothing hears your lament for help.
Nothing shows no mercy.
Nothing is too wonderful for you.
Yet, something
In the quiet of your soul
Begins to stir at the utterance of that Name,
The One, who holds the key and the words of life,
Beckons to you…
Come…
Come all of you, who know absolutely nothing.
Come and I will show you mercy and
Things too wonderful for you.
Come and live again.

We Are Transformers

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

Some months ago, I felt compelled of the spirit of God to begin writing on the subject matter of transformation. I had heard the Lord whisper the word “Transformer” to my spirit. I immediately, thought of the blockbuster movies and the 80’s cartoon that those movies were inspired by. So, I Googled some images with the hope of finding a visual for what I sensed in my spirit; that we, the body of Christ, are Transformers. Sadly, I couldn’t find one. I looked for a definition of transformer and I found this:

1. One that transforms. 2. A device used to transfer electric energy from one circuit to another, especially a pair of multiply wound, inductively coupled wire coils that effect such a transfer with a change in voltage, current, phase, or other electric characteristic

With this definition in mind, I immediately knew where God was taking me. He said, “My people are transformers. I am the energy source. My people are the transformers.” He said, “And yes like the cartoon heroes that transformed from one function to another and one form to another; so it is with my people.” He said to me, “your perfection brings glory to you. But your transformation brings glory to me.” The Lord reminded me of a previous conversation that I had with him in prayer. I said, “Lord, I wish that I had walked these 17 years flawlessly. I wish I had always believed and never lost hope.” And He reminded me in that moment, that His strength is revealed in my weakness. He said, “When you were young in faith. You were self righteous. You believed you were righteous because you saw yourself as “good.” You had a checklist of things that you did not do. You felt that because of your ability to refrain from those things that you were right with me. You thought because you didn’t do this and didn’t do that, that you were good in my sight. You boasted in your own image; but you did not boast of my ability. You did not make yourself vulnerable. However, in the secret places of your heart, Natrietia, you held onto insecurities, rage and jealousies. You were alienated from me because of your fears.” He continued, “It wasn’t until you became vulnerable, that the power of my word transformed you. And that is where my strength is perfected.”

This kind of vulnerability and resulting transformation was best exemplified in the life of Jesus Christ. There was a glory that appeared in Jesus when he was resurrected. His resurrected body was different from the body that hung on the cross and the body wrapped with the ceremonial burial clothing. With this image of Christ before me, I heard the Father say, “You are the body of Christ. There is a glory that I am ready to release. But that transformation is happening when my people return to me with vulnerability. When they no longer resist the cross; but carry it through the pain, through the resistance, through the embarrassment and simply say, ‘Not my will, but your will be done.’ When they cry out, ‘Father, forgive them.’ When my children call me, Father. When they have relationship with me. When they talk with me. When they worship me in spirit and in truth. He said, “Call out to the people.” Write it and send it.

I heard him, this morning. I awoke with these words and they are true. “If you do not believe in something, you will die for nothing. Belief is a necessity of life. You wore born to believe.”

The Lord says, “I am willing. I am ready. I have accomplished victories for you. Will you believe? Will you trust me? Will you place no other above me?"

I don’t know if these words mean anything to anyone, but they mean a lot to me. I have personally been in a frustrated place. On the one hand, extraordinarily blessed, assured of God’s love, His ability and the gift of family. On the other hand, I have been confused by my literal circumstance and environment. I have been perplexed and wondered, why a specific area in my life, that is so very small, and doesn’t seem to fit with everything else that is so “right” in my life has overwhelmed me so much. The challenge really becomes whether or not I will trust the Lord in the midst of this death (of will, desire) so that I am transformed into something greater than my temporary want and or need. I mean, literally, whatever I fear in this life is only necessary for this life. And when we view things in this light, we see them for what they really are. Temporary. I am not living for this life. I’m not living to make my life here permanent. I’m living my life here temporarily, a mere visit on the planet Earth. It can be enjoyable, but my joy will not be dictated by things that are temporary because I believe in someone greater, who is Everlasting.

The Lord said to me “I see an army of men, women, old and young, spread wide and across lines…these men stand tall. These women stand tall. These children stand tall. This army transforms. They reach the heights of the enemy’s high walls. They leap over its gates. Their feet crush temples, strongholds and systems. The enemy’s darts are like toothpicks in their skin. Their skin is like armor. This army stands tall. Their feet are able to stand on the heights. This army of men, women, young and old is greater than the sea is wide.”

Confrontation is necessary for a life of victory; and because most of us spend our lives compromising we live lives of defeat. The Lord said, “You cannot begin to write about Transformation without laying a foundation of faith.” Your faith in the Word of God is the first confrontation that you will engage in and without it you will suffer endless defeats.

I want to gladly boast in the victories that I have won. The many accomplishments of the spirit and all the right decisions I have made. But they all would be empty without the knowledge of the source of my strength. If I had conquered in my own ability, what glory would it bring the Father? But through suffering, through the pain, the loss, the tears, the rage… The Lord transformed me. He made a saint out of a sinner. He made a prophet out of a liar. He made a wife out of a prostitute. He made a mother out of a barren woman. There is nothing impossible for God. Even my losses have been gains because I gained the knowledge of the Greatness. I gained the knowledge of His love and strength in the midst of my own weakness. The Lord has carried me and loved me and been the backbone of my life. Never before have I been so weak…yet, never before have I witnessed such strength.

This is a reminder to me and to all those who will be vulnerable before the Lord, that we were born to believe. Whatever this life has handed you, is but a temporary affliction, but the eternal things if God, faith, love, joy, peace, strength cannot be taken away. We are a fearless nation. We are transformers!

Wait For It

Waiting? Got patience? Staying power? Ability? Wait for it. Some weeks ago I was inspired to write on the subject of transformation and when I woke up unusually early yesterday morning, I was reminded that I never quite got around to blogging about it. As I considered this, I thought about my own transformation and the whimsical expression of God through those changes. Change is a natural progression of life. We live for it. We wait for what will be. We venture to anticipate the unknown, but often times find ourselves revisiting the past. For what can man predict? What can man really be sure of, other than what God reveals? We think, but we don’t really know anything. We read books and we consider them true on the basis of the opinion or research of the one who finds it. We say “this person is legitimized by their study and therefore their words must be true since I have no knowledge of it.” But education does not make for perfect men and women. Knowledge, according to the Bible, puffs up but love edifies. (See 1 Cor. 8:1) It makes a man or woman, who depends on knowledge, inevitably unkind to those who lack what they have. Knowledge, without love, demeans those who are absent of it. Whether it is creative, self, social, brain or religious knowledge… knowledge though it appears to make one better, only segregates those who have it from those who do not, if not tempered by love.

If my knowledge does not have a vein of love in it, then it is only useful to me and no one else. It builds me up, in my self-awareness. It boasts of my successes and my reigning power; but it does not lend a hand to the needy. And this, failure to love, is the tragedy of men. For what do I have that wasn’t given to me? The breath of life, the bend of my hair, the framework hidden beneath my skin, the heart that beats so violently in my chest pumping blood throughout my body without end. The very ability to know, comprehend and understand was not measured to me on the basis of any knowledge I attained. Life was given to me and every day I have the choice to either live with the knowledge of that gift or to deny the very power at work within me. It may seem an odd consideration but I could not begin to talk about transformation, without addressing the nature of man’s need to know. We seek knowledge under the guise of preparedness, readiness and responsibility. But if our knowledge does not end in love, it is fruitless behavior. The transforming power of God is limited in us, the realm of our influence and the fullness of our innate gifts is never reached.

Several months ago I faced tremendous fear. I could not see my way out of a situation and I was tormented by my disability. I wanted to KNOW what I had done, where I held failed and why I was not getting the results I had anticipated. I had been obedient, faithful, knowledgeable concerning God’s promise and seemingly unrewarded. I saw no worth in my testimony and I pitied myself. I thought, “What a shame? All of these promises from God and I will see none of them. Perhaps, they are for my children and not me. I do not have the strength to believe God concerning this anymore.” But God said to me, “If you have me, you have everything you need. Your value is in Me.” He said to me, “You are awesome. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing. You are awesome. You are the canvas of my heart.” He had taken notice of me and did not pity me. Rather, he esteemed me as awesome. I had misplaced my victorious destiny in the future, when I needed only see my worth in the here and now. In the dreaded place, between belief and transition, I was transformed. I saw a picture of God’s awesomeness, through his love for me. And if I had not waited, but allowed the knowledge of my circumstance to betray me, I would not have seen this transformation as I do now.

Awesomeness is contagious. The awesomeness of God is like a fragrance and a fire. (See 2 Cor. 2:14-15, Zec. 2:5)How awesome are you? Not sure? Wait for it. The promises of God will inevitably manifest in our lives. He does not and will not make a promise to you that he is unwilling to keep. The store of our faith, belief in his word and our prayers overflows generations. No prayer we have prayed will go unanswered. Though it linger. Wait for it. Though you face rejection. Wait for it. Though you suffer. Wait for it. Wait for his strength to be revealed. Wait for His love to be displayed. Wait for the courage to face your fears. Because his promise to you is this,

“For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3

The certainty of transformation is realized when our knowledge of God’s promises are met with impossibility. To venture in the boat of faith, one must rely on God as captain, sail, wind and wave. Though we may be thrust and tossed about a sea of impossibilities, our hope remains. That is the staying power of the knowledge of God’s love expressed through his will to give, you and I, life abundant. The uncertainty of life is not in God’s nature but in our own. When we compare his nature to our human nature, we display fear, angst and distrust. Our knowledge of life and death compels us at every turn to self-preserve. When we are met with difficulty, our mind searches for answers; and it wants to know, why this is happening and how can I fix it? But true faith doesn’t consider why or how, because neither answer can foretell the ability of God. Instead, true faith, relies on the knowledge of God’s unfailing love expressed through His son, Jesus Christ, to make dead things live again, impossible situations to turn out good, awesomeness to come to ignoble people. Why? Because He can. Just wait for it.