I See, I Dream ...

Some years ago, I started a work of art that I entitled, "The Chill Machine: An Expose on the Detriments of Chill." The title itself was inspired primarily by the phantom expose written by Axel Foley (of the original Beverly Hills Cop movie), on the then popular musical icon, Michael Jackson. I believe his was to be titled, "Michael Jackson ..." Gosh, I can't remember what it was supposed to be called now. I'll have to research it. I just remember the scene. It was so classic. Axel ,a Detroit cop, played by 80's Eddie Murphy, who was 100% funnier than the Millennium Eddie. Anyway, Axel walks into the Beverly Hilton and he's trying to get a room there and he goes on about how he's this writer for Rolling Stone magazine, writing an expose on "thee" Michael Jackson and says,

"I was going to call it (the article) 'Michael Jackson is Sitting on Top of the World,' but I might as well call it, 'Michael Jackson is Sitting on Top of the World as long as He is Not Sitting in the Beverly Hilton because There's No N***as Allowed in Here!'"
I don't know why that is so funny to me. I guess, I imagine a post Thriller red & black leather jacket clad Jacko sitting on the blue & green marbled earth with "Bubbles" in his lap, smiling with childlike glee. Its whimsical and utterly hilarious.

Anyway, back to "The Chill Machine ..." I began writing this work with the intention of like provoking our culture to change. We live in a time where celebrity has pervaded politics, religion, history, news ... the Internet! :) Its like this social cancer that's eating away at us. And we are kind of bulimic with it. We gorge ourselves on the flesh of our idols: pop tarts like Britney Spears (God bless her, really.) We want to know what she's doing. Where she shops. Who she's dating. What club she was at. What she ate for lunch. And then, we spit her up, spewing out malicious comments like "You suck!" "You're scum" "Rot in Hell" "Trailer Trash!' "You ate that! You wore that! You clubbed all night, where!"

It is so obscene the way we obsess over these people and then with almost no consideration for their "lives" we just throw them away. Toss them aside as meaningless and unimportant. I dreamt of Britney last night. And no, I'm not a fan of her music. But I dreamt of her last night and there was this media frenzy surrounding her. It was like her life had turned into the Jerry Springer show. And she was feeling bad about K-fed and she was doing anything to get his attention. She was drunk in the dream and I remember her asking me to dance for her. Like I was her show monkey. Her attitude was like 'you'll do it because I'm Britney'. But I refused. I said, "I won't be apart of this circus.' She kind of laughed it off in her drunken state. And then she asked me again, "Dance for me." And I said, "Britney, I'll dance for you if you let me pray for you." And then she was like, "No, don't pray for me." I got really close to her and I put my hand on her head. I just touched her and she fell back as if something struck her down. But it wasn't the force of my hand but the power of God. She laid on the floor smiling as if ... drunk. But it wasn't that. It was like she finally had peace. Strangely, her eyes popped out of her head as she laid there. And everyone looking at her was amazed that she was lying there with her eyes popped out. Then I came to her and said, "The Lord is giving you sight." And I pushed her eyes back in. I remember them feeling like boiled eggs without the shell and they were bigger than her eye sockets yet when I pressed them in they fit perfectly.

It was a peculiar dream. I 'm not entirely convinced that it was meaningful yet I'm not entirely convinced that it was just some random stuff I was thinking about before I went to sleep. But I felt like writing about it.

Consume and be Merry!

Mmmm ... It feels rather good to just chill. However, daunting the the holiday season may have been for the masses ... shopping, spending and eating, still I am hopeful that there remains some degree of childlike expectation of what those few moments before the 25th of December symbolize. Certainly, like the rest of the "world" I've seen those wonderful signs lifted up overhead, "Don't forget the reason for the season." And I've even heard myself, smiling faintly at the dim notion that Christmas, is well, "About the kids, you know." I have felt the wayward call to consume and be merry! Actually, I found myself doing everything my crafty little hands could muster to make Christmas "the most" for my husband, children & loved ones. I had to sit back and say, "Wait a minute. Natrietia, you are worried about many things, but only one thing is needed."

When our family went to Christmas Morning service, the Bishop asked how many of you spent a little too much this Christmas season and need some (financial) help come the New Year?" Slowly, hands began to rise, waving limply over there shamed heads. It was embarrassing. Even people, myself included, who are supposed to know what the REASON we celebrate is, find themselves caught up in the rapture of over consumption. No way should we be finding ourselves in debt in celebration of Freedom. True freedom.

Galatians 5:1 says: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." I believe that is the place where we are, a place we are experiencing true Freedom. I feel like there is going to be a flow of supernatural power to those who will receive it that will bring liberty to our lives. If you will consider that Christ has set us free for freedom's sake, then as a believer in that grace, access has already been given. Scripture teaches us that Christ is the way, the truth and the life. For us, Christ is the door, the means to gain access to the kind of liberty, peace and joy that God, the Father intends for all of His children to enjoy. And each of us has a part to play.

Growing With The Flow ...

I like the notion of growing with the flow opposed to going with the flow. Going with the flow has somewhat of a negative connotation, while its popular, it seems to be indicative of lazy faith. "I'll just see what happens." "Whatever happens, happens." There is no real expectation of anything and that's where me and "going with the flow" don't see eye to eye. Growing with the flow demands a little more initiative and foresight.

In my previous post I mentioned the Cheers theme song that chimed "You want to be where everyone knows your name." That mentality, though it sounds so nostalgic & warm ...is bittersweet. It falls in the same category of thinking as "misery loves company." While most of us prefer to be in situations that are comfortable to us, rarely does couch sitting, bar hopping & binge eating facilitate growth. Perfectly rounded situations never stretch us to our full potential and we are always left wanting. I think that the greater question should be, why am I so desperate to appeal to a sense of wanting or needing approval & acceptance. This is where growth happened to me. I am no longer seeking to appeal to any one's unnecessary opinions of me but rather I am growing up into the completeness and complexity of Natrietia ...

I'm not exactly perfect ...but I am perfectly me.

I like that! :)

Confrontation

"I am not much of a brow beater. I'm not overbearing. I'm not all up in your face, give me what I want NOW or I'll make your life living hell. I'm not "show me the money!" And I'm not exactly, frigid. I have feelings too ...the girl in the cubicle next to me is playing the theme song to Cheers! "You want be where everyone knows your name!" How ironic. Isn't that so common? It's like I just want to be in place where I feel comfortable. Where my name is touted with a familiar grin, tongue & cheek laughter and the coziness of a full belly and a room full of people who have the same griefs to bare as me ... ho ho him. "

Yet something is amiss. The year 2007 has been a year of Total Release. Missing from my closet are those terrible anxieties and insecurities. Will I have enough money? Will I fail? Am I failing right now? Who art thou? Where art thou going? Yeah, yeah ... Been there ...done that ... This year was about me finding contentment with myself ... not looking at myself through the eyes of judgement but embracing myself for who I am ... and Growing with the flow ... I have more to say but I'll have to continue later ...

Giving Thanks

Greetings to All :I just wanted to express sincere thanks to you all. It has been an extraordinary year and I am most grateful to have the relationships that I share with each of you. I absolutely love being able to communicate with my friends and loved ones via emails/blogs. At any given time, of any day, at any hour I can say, "I love you" "I was thinking of you." "How are you?" It means so much to Daniel & I to have family and friends who are believeing with us, praying for us and sharing in our dreams. We want to say thank you ... thank you ... thank you. We pray that the New Year brings fresh opportunities for you and that the things that you have been holding onto spring forth and blossom! God Bless!